Out Now!

Saturday, 30 October 2010

A strange dream in San Francisco

That night I had a strange dream. A tall Canadian woman stared at me from a snowy wilderness. “My name is Renee Miller,” she said.

I tried to drag myself away, wondering whether it was a dodgy Dim Sum, or an excess of beer.

“And you’re tagged.” She laughed, causing a small avalanche.

Was that the same as ‘branded’? “What do you mean, tagged?” I said, struggling to wake and finding I couldn’t.

Her voice was remorseless. “But in exchange……You will be granted an award…”

Dollar Bills, lots of them, flashed before my eyes.

“…The kickass, awesome, most impressive, shiny, blog award.”

"I don’t have a blog,” I said it like I knew what one was.

“But you will.” Her voice was becoming impatient and the thought of what this Canadian Amazon might do if made angry, alarmed me greatly.

“Okay,” I said, admitting defeat. “What do you want from me?”

Her voice at once became soothing. “Just answer ten questions, Mike, and you’ll never see me again.”

“And I get this ‘Kickass, awesome, most impressive, shiny, blog award?'"

“You have my word.”

The questions came from nowhere and a voice other than mine answered:

1. If you blog anonymously are you happy doing it that way; if you are not anonymous do you wish you had started out anonymously so you could be anonymous now?

I can’t blog anonymously. The whole point of Record of a Baffled Spirit is in creating a family and historical record. Even if I changed the family surname to Anon such a timid foray into cyberspace would be a little strange.

2. Describe one incident that shows your inner stubborn side:
Doing my O levels and A levels (essential university entrance exams) in two years rather than the normal four years – because I realised I could.

3. What do you see when you really look at yourself in the mirror?

Strange eyebrows

4. What is your favourite summer cold drink?

Beer, cold white wine, grapefruit juice chilled. But in very hot weather – water, lots of it.

5. When you take time for yourself, what do you do?

Write, read, swim, walk, listen to radio, drink unobserved in country pubs

6. Is there something you still want to accomplish in your life? What is it?

Success as a writer, and a hopeful death

7. When you attended school, were you the class clown, the class overachiever, the shy person, or always ditching?

Undoubtedly shy. Behind a hardened carapace the fear of others is still there, muttering blindly to itself…Shut up; are you mad? Get away from there. Don’t say anything. These people are dangerous!

8. If you close your eyes and want to visualize a very poignant moment of your life what would you see?

My parents’ death. You don’t miss them till they’re gone

9. Is it easy for you to share your true self in your blog or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people or events?

No, I’m happy with myself. Not smug but accepting what I am and what I’m not

10. If you had the choice to sit down and read or talk on the phone, which would you do and why?

Read. I hate talking on phones.

"My calling card," she said, before disappearing. A white card fluttered on to the pillow. It looked like snow and melted as I read:


It didn't make sense and I slept, determined on pondering these things in the morning.


Renee Miller said...

That was awesome, sir. This is why you've earned the blog award. But...I don't see the badge? I suppose it doesn't go with the decor in here. Oh well, no matter. Not everyone got a dream sequence either. See how fortunate you are? Here's a case of beer to celebrate your fine blogging achievement. Don't drink it all at once.

Carlos J Cortes said...

Oh dear... so, you've been prey to the statuesque Irish-Canadian wraith? You must lay off the grape else she'll get you.

Maria Zannini said...

I think I would have preferred to have seen you branded--but that's just me. :-)

Renee Miller said...

I prefer to call it tagging, but if you look closely, there's a brand of sorts. As long as he stays away from metal detectors and electrical storms, he'll be fine.

Maria Zannini said...

You hold him down, Renee. I'll heat up the iron.

Yee haw!

Renee Miller said...

I'm in. What are we going to give him? Personally, I tend to prefer the Maple leaf, but if you've got something more interesting, I'm open.

Maria Zannini said...

I like the maple leaf, or we can do the star of Texas. Oh heck, let's do both. He's got two cheeks.

Mike Keyton said...

I assume the virtual case of beer to anaesthetize me - and many thanks for the warning Carlos - even it did come too late :)

Renee Miller said...

I love the way you think. Michael, assume the position.

Jackie said...

I am glad you accept what you are and what you are not, most people never find that kind of peaceful existence in their own skin!
Most of the people I follow on blogs say the same thing that they would rather read than talk on the phone, like myself maybe that just means we have nothing to say!

I am still looking the the kickass shiny blog award, we need to make you one that does not have to be branded on your person anywhere...
jackie >_<

Mike Keyton said...

Thanks, Jackie. A tasteful piercing might be quite nice

Gwen said...

We tried to warn you. "Wear the tinfoil hat, even if it looks silly"... but no, you wouldn't listen.

Mike Keyton said...

You mean Renee doesn't exist? She's a figment?