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Friday, 3 June 2016

Mary had a trippy lamb

The Welsh sheep is an adventurous creature, learning how to escape fields by rolling over cattlegrids, indulging in experimental sex, if the canard about Welsh country folk is to be believed, and now they’ve learned to take drugs.

The remains of a cannabis factory were dumped outside the village of Rhydypandy. The authorities discovered it too late. The sheep had got their first—much to the alarm of local residents who talked of ‘psychotic sheep,’ and of sheep roaming the village, breaking into bungalows—in search of munchies?— and defecating on carpets.

Personally I think this could well develop into a bijou business. The North Ronaldsay sheep is famous amongst gourmets, their diet of seaweed giving their meat a distinctive tastes. Roll over hash-cakes, the hash-burger could be on its way.

There is, though, a negative side.

Cannabis is often seen as the gateway drug leading on to crack and cocaine, panhandling and crime and I’m not all together convinced by the absurdity of this, having been mugged by two sheep on the Yorkshire moors. They were after my cheese sandwich, but had I had money….

Hollywood once made a film about giant killer Rabbits – Night of the Lepus. They had a real job on their hands turning rabbits into creatures of horror. Welsh Sheep, now that’s a different story—as is the book by Katrina Monroe


Maria Zannini said...

I've been doing all sorts of research on sheep. Fortunately, no wild cannabis grows on our property. The government would probably frown on that.

I'll be happy if our sheep keep the grass mowed.

Mike Keyton said...

Feed them LSD and you'd have some interesting grass patterns. Ecstasy? Have you ever seen grinning sheep?