I am very seducible, which,
unfortunately, is not the same as being seductive. The Gasman called (not the
Postman) and seduced us into buy ‘Hive’, which allows you to control temperature
and lights without leaving your chair. The smartphone is truly smart. Worse,
Echo. Dot’s Alexa came with the deal, and she is even more seductive. So, you
get the drift then, you understand where I’m coming from when I confess I find
the Wetherspoons app another irresistible temptation.
No more queuing and jostling at the
bar, pretending politeness to those around you while all the time calculating
who’s justifiably next, and at the same time maintaining a gimlet stare on the
barman or woman. No, instead of all that
you sit and tap an instruction on your phone and your drink or food
mysteriously appears at your table. You anticipate when you might next want a
drink and tap again. It’s like having your mouth attached to a beer tap, your
wallet to a Hoover. At least you think twice having to fight your way back to
the bar.
I was thinking of this whilst staring at the ceiling of the Kings Head
in Monmouth—a Wetherspoons pub, and wondered what past generations would have
thought of such luxury - or perhaps witchcraft.
What would Charles 1st
have thought when he popped in from Raglan Castle in 1645, or indeed the ardent
Royalist Mayor of Monmouth in 1675 when he commissioned the ceiling and the
various royalist portraits that dominate one of the snugs. Who needs servants
when you have a smartphone or indeed the Wetherspoon App?
Pictures of Charles II and Charles I
And for those without smartphones, plenty of books
One wonders what Oliver Cromwell
would have done with a smartphone, for while Charles drank in the King’s Head in
1645, his nemesis, Cromwell, drank in the Queen’s Head just over the road during roughly the same period. In fact Cromwell stayed there several times during the Civil
War and made good use of his time by destroying Monmouth Castle.
The Queens HeadI
The Kings Head in Agincourt Square
It's hard to believe that in 1835
there were 15 pubs and inns in Agincourt Square. As the rhyme once went: A gin court here, a gin court
there, no wonder they call it A gin Court Square. Poetry has moved on since then; perhaps an C18th Rap.
For generations The King’s Head was
a major coaching inn, which gives me the excuse of incorporating this photo of a
nearby lane. Who wouldn’t want some hot punch after this? And what wondrous witchcraft would the
Wetherspoon app appear to the tired and weary traveller.
So visit
Monmouth, with or without the Wetherspoon app and enjoy good beer in both
pubs. The Queens Head has no app but it does have several ghosts, some ‘secret’
rooms, and you can stand on the spot where a reckless cavalier was shot dead
when trying to assassinate Cromwell. No pictures unfortunately.
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2 comments:
I really hate those apps. Even worse are the tabletop ordering machines. I tolerate them at fast food joints, but if you go through the trouble of pretending you're a nice restaurant with cloth napkins at least have a real life server.
The servers at most places are so disgruntled and annoyed with the public they make eating out a dreary experience.
Still, we've had exceptional wait staff that made our meals an absolute joy. What made them amazing is that they honestly cared that you enjoyed your meal. They made sure your glass was never empty and that you never had to ask for bread, sauces or butter. They were on top of their game.
For such service we always tipped well above normal. That kind of service deserves a good tip. I have no compulsion to tip someone for bringing me food ordered by an app. Part of a great dining experience is having attentive staff.
Maria, I've been spared the table ordering machine, and I've yet to install the Wetherspoon app for my phone, because it also involves simultaneously paying by phone and I'm a suspicious luddite when it comes to that. Even os, I can see the merit of no longer fighting to be served at a busy bar
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