Last Christmas I bought my wife a stocking filler—well, two stocking fillers really—a first edition of Five Go to Billycock Hill, and another Famous Five Book published the same year she was born. Out of delicacy and a sense of self preservation, I won’t give away the name of that particular book.
One wet afternoon, we opened a book each, sat in front of the fire and cracked open a bottle of chilled Sourgal Moscato. Pretty soon the peace was shattered by hoots of disbelief and laughter. We’d anticipated it, been looking forward to it—the archaisms, the profusions of adverbs and exclamation marks, and above all, the cheerful sexism of our childhood.
Billycock Hill begins on a promising note. The five are at Kirrin cottage, studying maps and planning a jaunt when George suddenly erupts: “And just us Five together again on a sunny week’s holiday!” said George, giving Timmy a sudden thump of joy. “Hurrah for Whitsun!”
George is the tomboy who today would probably be packed off for gender reassignment. Julian is officer material, Dick his subaltern, and Anne—poor Anne—housewife and homemaker with all the perceived frailties of her sex.
Anne picked a spray of honeysuckle and put it through the buttonhole of her blouse. “Now I can sniff it all the time,” she said. “Delicious.”
Cycling up a high hill is hard work. ‘Thank goodness,” panted Anne. “We’ll be as stiff as anything tomorrow.”
They pause for a rest and Anne falls asleep. Then she felt something crawling up her arm and woke with a jump.
“Ugh – a big beetle!” she said and shook it off.”
When they reach their destination, they’re treated to a farmhouse tea, and here Enid Blyton reveals her astuteness. In an age of post war austerity and the shadow of rationing we have wish fulfilment writ large.
They all sat down to tea, and the four visitors wished they had not had such a big lunch! A large ham sat on the table, and there were crusty loaves of new bread. Crisp lettuces, dewy and cool, and red radishes were side by side in a big glass dish. On the sideboard was an enormous cake, and beside it a dish of scones. Great slabs of butter and jugs of creamy milk were there, too, with honey and home-made jam. No tripe and onions for them.
But soon after this it’s back to business for poor old Anne who assumes the role of domestic goddess when camping in a field. Roles are traditional and clearly spelled out.
Anne loved arranging anything, and she was soon at work putting away the food and the milk into her queer larder.
Asked about food, Anne tells them what’s available. “Sounds jolly good,” said Julian. “What do you think, Timmy? Anne, if you and George get the supper ready, Dick and I will prepare our heathery beds.”
After the meal, they decide on a swim: “It sounds jolly good,” said Julian pleased. “Well, we can’t bathe immediately after a meal. The girls will want to do their bit of washing up and put the rest of the food away. We’ll sit here and wait until they’re finished, have a bit of a rest, and then go and find this pool.”
When expressing an interest in seeing an aeroplane, George is put in her place. “But you’re a girl," said Toby. “Girls don’t understand the first thing about aeroplanes or motor cars or ships – or spiders either, come to that! I really don’t think you’d be interested Georgina dear.”
On finding the pool a bossy airman appears and shouts at them, but it’s only Anne who feels scared. It’s Julian who sorts things out with upper class smoothness. “Well, we apologise for trespassing,” he said in his clear, pleasant voice. “We shan’t bathe here again, I promise you. Sorry to have made you come all this way to warn us off.”
And the bossy airman regards Julian with new respect. There was something about the boy that reassured people, and the man now felt quite sure that was all Toby’s fault. He smiled and gave a sketchy salute.
“That’s all right,” he said. “Sorry to have cut your bathing short this hot day” It’s the salute, I can’t get over.
Back at the tents one of them suggests they listen to Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony on their portable radio as the sun sets. Anne’s not so sure. She ‘loathes’ inconsiderate people who play their radio loudly in the countryside “I could go and kick their radios to pieces!”
“Gracious, Anne—you do sound fierce,” said George, looking at her cousin in surprise.
“You don’t know our quiet sister Anne quite as well as we do, George,” said Julian, with a twinkle in his eyes. “She can be quite fierce if she thinks anyone is spoiling things for others.”
“Oh Julian! How can you say such a thing!” said Anne. …
“All right, young Anne!” said Julian affectionately, and patted her hand. Both he and Dick thought the world of their quiet, kind little sister.
Later, back at the farmhouse, Mrs Thomas automatically asks the girls to make tea. The girls bustled about, setting out cups and saucers, while the boys talked to Cousin Jeff and asked him eager questions about planes and flying and how this was done and that.
Jeff is Toby’s cousin and the Five are enchanted: A tall, good-looking young man stood up, smiling. The Five gazed at him, liking him very much indeed. What a fine young fellow—how strong—what keen straight eyes he had—what a cousin to possess! They all envied Toby at that moment.
When it appears Jeff is a traitor, the Five are distraught.
“To think that Jeff could do a thing like that – Jeff a traitor – flying off with a plane of ours to sell to an enemy,” said Julian….
(Dick similarly) “…fancy Jeff doing that! I liked him so much.”
“So did I,” said Anne, turning her head away.
Later they learn that the stolen plane has crashed in the sea. “But that means Toby’s cousin is drowned – or killed,” said Anne, her face very white.
“Yes, but remember, if he flew away in that plane, he was a traitor to his country,” said Dick gravely, “And traitors deserve to die.”
“But Toby’s cousin didn’t seem like a traitor,” said George. “He seemed so – well, so very British, and I can’t say anything finer than that. I feel as if I shall never trust my judgement of anyone again. I liked him so very much.”
Later a new crisis emerges. A young child is missing. All hands on deck. They need to look for him – but not on an empty stomach.
“Well, can you make some sandwiches very quickly?” asked Dick. “We’re all very hungry, and it won’t take a minute. We can munch them as we go. Let’s make a plan of campaign while you’re cutting them.”
George and Anne set to work with the sandwiches. Anne’s fingers were all thumbs, she was so shocked to hear that little Benny was missing.
It all ends happily as you know it will and there’s another farmhouse tea, with no doubt the girls washing up afterwards. We finished the wine, looked at each other and turned on the dishwasher.
2 comments:
I grew up reading these books for Loved them. Waited for new ones at the library. A bit dated.
But she knew how to tell stories
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