Thursday 18 April 2024

The joys of AI





I recently downloaded two AI programs and tested them, to reassure myself as a writer and to compare their abilities. Claude first.


I asked it to write Winnie the Pooh in the style of Micky Spillane:


‘I pulled my battered stuffing out of the honey pot and brushed away the sticky crumbs. This was a dark trail that started with a missing slob of a bear and his pinched honey stash. I’d smelt this kind of case in the Hundred Acre Woods before—it reeked of desperation and the cheap, floral perfume of a twisted doe. Keeping my grip tight on my trusty pot, I prepared myself to confront the twisted stuffing-filled underbelly that lurked beneath the sickly-sweet surface.’


Then, Winnie the Pooh and Tigger in the style of Charles Dickens:

‘Twas the bst of times in the Hundred Acre Wood when the jovial, striped creature came bouncing into our presence, disturbing what little peace a plump, aimless bear might find amid the melancholy trees. With vigour unchecked and exuberance unmatched, this orange nuisance did pest the tranquil soul relentlessly, until composure lay scattered like the honey pots and their viscous remains.’


Could it manage a Micky Spillane version of Miss Piggy and Kermit?

'The smoke-filled swamp joint went silent as the curvy pig in the low-cut sequins sashayed in. I tried keeping my focus on the piano keys, but it was no use. Her beady eyes locked on to me like aorp looking for a fly to snatch. I could smell trouble coming off her like fumes from a water treatment plant. Pulling my collar tight, I braced for impact.’ Still not too sure what an aorp is.


Or Wind in the Willows in the style of Raymond Chandler?

'It was a dark night along the river bank when the trouble started. A weasel in a worn coat tried to peddle some hot merchandise to a badger and his muscle. Across from the way, a toad with a shady past nursed his third pint, eyeing the scene like he was gonna make a play. I gripped my trusty walking stick tight. This wasn’t gonna end well for someone if it went sideways.'


Next I tried ChatAI with comparable requests.

Miss Piggy and Kermit in the style of Raymond Chandler.


‘In the dimly lit alley of obscurity, where the city’s shadows lingered like unwelcome secrets, I found her, Miss Piggy, a dame with a figure that could make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. She had a voice like screeching tires on rainy night  and a glare that could make a grown man tremble like a leaf in a hurricane.

Beside her stood Kermit, a frog with eyes that had seen too much for his own good. He had the look of a man who had danced with danger one too many times and knew that the next waltz could be his last. His words were as smooth as whisky on a cold night, but there was steel beneath the surface, ready to strike if the need arose. 

They were an odd pair, Miss Piggy and Kermit, two souls adrift in a sea of troubles,  clinging to each other like shipwreck survivors in a storm. As they stood before me, their faces a mask of stoic determination, I knew that their story was far from over in this city of broken dreams.’


And Miss Piggy and Kermit in the style of Charles Dickens.

 

‘In the heart of a bustling metropolis where the streets teemed with a cacophony of voices and the air was thick with scent of industry, there resided a peculiar duo—Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog. Miss Piggy, with her rosy cheeks and resplendent demeanour, cut a striking figure amidst the crowds, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of ambition and longing. Kermit, a humble frog of gentle disposition, stood by her side like a steadfast companion ever ready to lend his support.

Miss Piggy, with her dreams as grand as the mansions of the wealthy elite, aspired to rise above her humble beginnings and make a name for herself in the glittering world of show business. Her heart beat with the rhythms of the city, its pulse echoing the promise of fame and fortune that beckoned from afar. 

Kermit, a creature of simpler tastes and kind-hearted nature, found solace in the companionship of Miss Piggy, her larger-than-life personality a beacon of light in the darkest corners of the city.’


And to round it off a piece of art from Gen Craft shown above. The actual request was a picture of Miss Piggy dressed in a low cut sequinned dress and Kermit in trench coat and fedora in a noir style bar. Not too sure about the low cut sequinned dress, or whether I have anything to fear in the writing field yet. A fun waste of  time? Oh yes. . . . The  Famous Five in the style of Dostoevsky, Biggles in the style of Nietzsche.    Endless possibilities if there’s nothing else better on TV. If anyone fancies trying my last two suggestions, please let me know the results 😀


 

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