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Friday, 8 February 2013

The Newport Ninja



Newport is the home of the eccentric. Where else would you find the ‘Vigilante Ninja’ or his nemesis the ‘Chavinator’? Where else would you find the ‘Alway Assassin’ or the ‘St. Julians Saboteur’? Where else would you find a policeman, confronted with a twenty one year old ‘ninja’ brandishing a wooden sword call for ‘Back up’ – in this case a police helicopter and dogs?

Twenty one year old Tanis Baker, bullied at school and mugged one night on his way home could have been just another uncomplaining statistic. Instead a blinding light exploded in his mind. Gotham City had its Batman. Newport…? Zero, Zilch. Here was a vacuum to be filled. Thus was born the “Ringland Ninja!”

At night, mild mannered Tanis Baker dressed in designer black and patrolled his neighbourhood, armed with a wooden sword, seven smoke bombs, and a change of clothing. Lacking a Moriarty, a Joker, or Two Face the Ringland Ninja cut his teeth on minor crime – confiscating alcohol from underage drinkers in Beechwood Park, smoking out loitering youths with one of his seven smoke bombs, and escaping in a series of leaps, bounds and roly polys.

When arrested by officers, unaware of his crime-fighting potential, Tanis explained who he was: ‘The eyes and ears of the police on the streets.’ The court was not impressed. Tanis Baker was given a 12 month supervision order and told to carry out 60 hours of unpaid work.

Newport may, however, rest easy and good citizens can walk the streets without fear.  It is rumoured that Tanis Baker had two sidekicks – the Alway Assassin and the St Julians Saboteur. And of course in twelve months time Newport’s own Dark Knight might well return. One thing for sure, Newport needs its Super Heroes.

9 comments:

Mike Staton said...

That's one strange boy. Sounds like he might have been playing D&D too much ... or on the other hand, maybe he needs to play D&D more often. :-)

DRC said...

lol...I want to move to Newport! What an intriguing place to be :)

Maria Zannini said...

Are you sure there might not be three sidekicks? ;-)

What superhero would you be, Mike?

Mike Keyton said...

Well Newport is the right setting for D&D. Mike. It has its own wonderful seedy magic.

And I guess that's why Dawn quite fancies moving here. It's a 'Newport State Of Mind'

Maria, no way am I going to reveal my costume fetishes!

LD Masterson said...

Rats. I want a superhero here in Dayton. You guys get all the good stuff.

And you'd probably be better off picking a superhero for yourself than letting Maria choose on for you. *grin*

Mike Keyton said...

Well, we apparently have three super heroes so enough to go around, Linda. Ref Maria - so long as she did the cover art I'd be fine : )

mrcrashhappy said...

I may be guessing here, but isn't Tanis lucky that the local chapter of Guardian Angels didn't hang him from a pothook by his leotard?

Claudia Del Balso said...

Hmmm, I guess every town has a hero (or hero-wannabe). I've heard a couple of stories like this one. ;) Kudos to him. At least he's fighting crime and not committing it.

Mike Keyton said...

Claudia, pity the police, police helicopter and dogs didn't see it that way : ) I reckon there's scope for a small budget film here.