Better than fermented socks

Distinctive is a suitably neutral term, I think, so let it be said. I have drunk several distinctive wines in my time. One, deep in the past but never forgotten, was an Israeli wine bought in Tescos. It tasted like fermented socks. I can even specify the colour: blue. Blue woollen socks. 

My most recent experience is a bottle I bought a fortnight ago.

Bells rang from the start, but I was seduced by the price. I mean:

 Apothic?

Untamed and Unbound?

Plush and Jammy?

Plush I associate with soft fabric or something upper class. In my limited dealings with the upper class I’ve never heard them extol the virtues of jammy wine. But it gets worse on the back of the bottle.

The wine was apparently inspired not by a reputable vintner but a clever little blackbird, and here the imagery becomes even more confused: plush and velvety – fabric then, but one that soars on the lips. *

It crossed my mind the ‘copy’ might have been produced by A I in which case a skilled copywriter has little to fear, at least for the moment. But why the name: Apothic?

On a related website, I learnt that Apothic Red Wine can be traced back to the ancient Greek and Roman practice of blending different wines together to create ‘a unique taste profile.’ Hardly Catullus but perhaps Californian.  The practice was known as apotheca and supposedly created more flavoursome and complex wines. Perhaps Scottish distilleries should take a leaf from the apothica book ie extol the virtues of  cheap ‘blended whiskies’ at the expense of the ‘single malt.’

The website was replete with virtue. Apothic, a subsidiary of Gallo wines, is committed to ‘responsible and sustainable measures’ – ‘environmental stewardship’- ‘bold leadership.’ But what did it taste like? 

Alcoholic Ribena, a perfect match for Sticky Toffee Pudding and Eccles cakes. It’s fair to say it didn’t soar on my lips. Spluttered perhaps. The ancient Greeks and Romans were also partial to diluting their wine with seawater.  Perhaps I shouldn’t be giving ideas to vintners in search of profit. 

* Soaring from the lips 

Here is one reviewer trying to restrain his enthusiasm. It must be said though, my wife quite liked it. Each to their own, as they say.